Who Am I … And How Did Autism Angles Come About?

I released some information and videos the last few weeks due to the COVID-19 situation and spring break,I am now back tracking to give the background on myself 🙂

I am Nicole and I am the Founder of Autism Angles LLC. I am a mother to a child with special needs as well as this being my career. My son turned 9 during all of this chaos of the corona virus. It was certainly a different type of birthday but still very fun for him. Blake was diagnosed at a very young age, and at that time it was very rare that a child was diagnosed at 1 1/2. He was given numerous diagnoses throughout that time and through the years such as: Autism (PDDNOS), Sensory Processing Disorder, Non verbal, Low Muscle tone, Apraxia, Dyspraxia, and developmental delay. We had therapy all week long, some days it was multiple. We saw specialists and had appointments constantly. (We still see specialists and therapists but as time went on it did not need to be as intense)

I never once felt like our lives should be anything different, that it was a burden, that it was too hard, or that I had any other option but to be everything he needed me to be and do everything we needed. At that time I also was a single mother. I have been blessed with support and a family from every which way to be apart of Blake’s journey with me. (I will not go into the story of how I became a single parent ) But I will say it was heartbreaking doing those appointments without a partner/ father there, particularly when the doctors would ask about him. I never had a choice to show weakness, fear, anxiety, hurt… my priority was and always will be my child!

I had those hard conversations that you think about internally over and over again. Those questions you know you want to ask but debate whether the answer will destroy you or not. I was told Blake may never speak, that there was a huge chance I would never hear my son’s voice. I was also told he may never be toilet trained. Very hard statements to hear, but again I was not going to let it tare us down. I was never in denial about our situation, the limitations given for his life…. but for me it was exactly that! “LIMITATIONS”, if I accepted those words, those boundaries and limitations given to my son at such a young age, there was no doubt in my mind that he would then be those. This goes for anything!

If an individual is told or treated the same way over and over and over again, that becomes their truth, their reality. Yes, 100% I knew in the back of my mind it may all be true and that could be our reality so I never set myself up for devastation. I found it would be more devastating to limit my sons potential when he has so much time and room to grow. And that is exactly why we are where we are today!

Blake became fully potty trained by about 51/2 years old and by 61/2 years he begun speaking! Nowwwww (with a huge breath/ sigh) it was not easy. I will never say that any of this ever was, but the accomplishment can not even be described correctly in words. The countless time working on training, and I do not mean the typical potty trained age that society has forced families to think they are failing at when their child doesn’t meet(we’ll get there, when we get to what I do for a profession). Blake was a severe sensory kiddo, and he still is. So toileting, that was so far from my mind at a young age, to torture him and myself… no way! But when he started to show signs at an older age, his comprehension was there, and his communication (other ways besides verbally) we got to work. He was successful and it was nothing short of amazing! That alone, for myself, validated the limitations that can be put on someone and that if I would have allowed it to be true I never would have tried with him the way he truly deserved. This goes with everything in our lives.

Then one day slowly, sounds were coming out, and one day a Ma, Mama, then a help and a help me… things that would he wanted to say were coming out. There were times it took him minutes to verbalize something, and with encouragement, praise, and patience I gave him all the time he needed.

His voice, his adorable angelic voice… is truly music to my ears to this day. There are times I get goosebumps hearing him speak, there are times I literally have to pause and allow my own brain to register the type of conversation he is INITIATING with/ to me! The heartbreak that comes from watching your child (anyone truly) struggle, feeling lost, scared, misunderstood, out of control, not being heard will make you want to go into a dark hole and never come out. But again, what option did I have?…. NONE. So I took that pain, that fear and it drove me, it drove him, it drove all of the family. Everyone understood the importance of my methods (my madness lol). He was on a strict schedule, my rules were the rules and so on. To outsiders, I seemed intense and hard on a child that was “so young”. Let me tell you…. IF that was not the life I set for us/him, IF that was not the way I created his environment Blake would not be where he is today, he would not be who he is, limitations would have swallowed him whole.

Structures, schedules, therapies, sensory input, picture schedules, picture strategies, PECS, choice boards, reward boards, sign language, word flash cards, and technology were our ways, our ways of communicating, our ways of connecting, our ways to success. Before the age of 3 I discovered Blake could read. It was an utter fluke. One morning I was doing my hair in the bathroom and he came walking in. He decided to have fascination with the toilet seat…wanting to lift it and shut it. I explained to him we were not to do that. He then walked out of the bathroom… I thought that was the end of “conversation” and that he grasped me telling him no and accepted. That was not the case 😛 Blake decided to get those foam letters and spell NO onto the toilet seat. I froze. I thought I was going crazy for a second, I collected myself and grabbed a HUGE pile of blank index cards. I begun to write out all sorts of words ex: Mom, Ball, Horse, House, each name of the grandparents, Car, Milk, Outside etc. I had the entire floor of the living room covered in these cards. (By the way I still have them to this day, I feel like I can not get rid of them) I slowly begun to ask Blake where a particular word was, he would look around and never hesitated. This child got every single word/ card right and in that moment I realized, “WOW! (while in pure shock may I add) This kid can read, this is not a fluke! Not only is this real but how long has he been able to do this!?” Unfortunately, I will never know when he was actually capable of reading, but I do know following my gut in everything I do with him has never failed me. I was able to learn, at such a young age, he could read. Blake did not have to be as “trapped” inside anymore.

Blake has grown into a child that has overcome so many battles and obstacles because he has people who surround him with support and belief. I/ We never acted like he was not capable, always spoke to him as though he was “typical”. Let me tell you that “normal” vs “not normal” thing truly irks me. NO ONE IS NORMAL! (Thank you, I needed to let that out haha) This child is so unbelievably affectionate, loving, compassionate, intelligent, funny, hard working, handsome… okay okay I’ll stop, I sound totally bias but it is true!! Do not get me wrong, we have gone through so much and still do, the challenges we face just change over time. We grow together, we learn together, we succeed together…. individually and as an entire family. (Consisting of multiple grandparents. aunts and uncles. cousins, friends and as parents. Blake and I are blessed to have found a man who takes on everything with us and we are a team together <3 )

I am a practitioner for the state of New Jersey in Early Intervention. I am also a Certified Autism Travel Professional.So working with Autism, special needs, behaviors is my life 24/7. For people who do not know:

• New Jersey is the state with the highest number of diagnoses in ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder)
• Early Intervention is a service states are able to provide families from birth until 3-5 depending. In NJ we do 0-3. The services consist of therapists who are assigned to a child/family to help form outcomes the child and family can achieve and grow in. Ex: when a child has poor communication skills, behaviors and lacks attention- tasks can not be completed. We would then work on behaviors, forming connections to help communicate and build joint attention to interact and complete tasks.
• Being an Autism Travel professional I am able to help families prepare for trips, what to do/ not do, what to ask and what to avoid as well as helping travel agents train so they can provide services to help families while booking their trips.
• Through my experience and Autism Angles I am able to offer courses for individuals, consultations, help businesses grow to be successful with this community and much more !

There is no other way I could see my life being. From all that I have been through and continue to go through, my schooling, my career, the experiences I gain I want nothing more than to be there for families the most that I can be. I have met so many individuals, worked with countless children, families, and schools and just kept saying to myself… “I have to offer more. I need to let them know they are not alone and there are things out here that can make a difference.” Which is exactly why Autism Angles was founded.

My mission is to give a platform for anyone to come to and ask any type of question big or small, share stories, ask advice, give advice, gain strategies, grow their knowledge, gain resources, have a community to be apart of to not feel alone. Autism Angles is here to provide so many avenues to help a family feel heard, appreciated, understood and helped. Even families that do not have a child with special needs can still benefit and gain techniques for parenting or just to gain knowledge of about this community and individuals in general.